Sunday, April 7, 2013
C is for Coaching
There are just so many great C things to blog about, but this week has nearly slipped away without me doing any of them.
C is for Crazy. Something I know a bit about lately.
C is for Clutter, something we're trying to get rid of.
C is for Citizenship in the Community, the merit badge Connor is trying to finish up. We were driving around this past week taking pictures. Pictures of things like (C is for) Cattle, as that tells a lot about our community.
But for this post, I have to say that C is for Coaching.
I posted last week in my B is for Books post about how we are back to Sonlight. Part of this is that I am back to realizing what my job as a teacher is, with these kiddos who are so much taller than I am. My job is to be a coach. A demanding one, sometimes. But definitely a caring one.
It is hard to back off and let these guys make some of these decisions. It is hard to know when to let them fail, and when to get in their face and shock them back into reality. Or when to call in reinforcements, in the form of someone else (Dad, usually) giving them a bit of a lecture.
If you came into this post thinking I'd give you some answers, well, prepare to be disappointed. I had more answers to this stuff four years ago. You know, before I had teens. Now I question a lot more:
When do I back off and let their lack of diligence cost them something?
When do I rescue them and keep their lack of responsibility from inconveniencing someone else?
Am I totally failing them?
Will they become productive adults?
This parenting teens thing is challenging, and exhilarating too. Check back in about a dozen years, when I've navigated teenhood for four boys, and I'll be nearly through Trina's teenage years. Maybe I'll have more answers then.
But I do know that this transition from dictator to coach is a necessary one. Sometimes, if you want something done right, you need to back off and be willing to let it be done wrong. And be there to ask the questions. What do you think of the outcome? What could you have done differently? What did you do right? What advice would you give your younger brother? Are you ready to try it again, or is this something to let go?
I might have the answers for me (or I might not), but as a coach, I need to push them to find God's answers for them.
So, this week, C is for Coaching... and if you check out Marcy's blog, you can see where C is for all kinds of other great things like the Crew, Castles, or Curriculum.
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I really like the questions you are asking regarding the transition into being a coach rather than a dictator! I especially will try to remember these words: "Sometimes, if you want something done right, you need to back off and be willing to let it be done wrong." Oftentimes, with my young children, I'm constantly trying to prevent from things going wrong. Thanks for the encouragement that the wrong that has been done is just a stepping stone for the child to learn to do it right later and be more mature/independent about it.
Also, I wanted to thank you for sharing your homeschool choices through the years.
Looking forward to learning more from a well-seasoned homeschool mom,
Melissa (a new friend from Antioch)
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