Monday, November 9, 2015

This grief thing is weird

Yesterday was an unusual day.

Lots of activities going on, which is good.  A huge party/celebration for the community after church, complete with bouncy houses, cotton candy, pie-eating contests, lots of food, lots of candy -- just an all around fun/crazy time.

And a chat with a friend I haven't seen for awhile who recently became a widow.

And then last night was packing Operation Christmas Child boxes, which also included a whole lot of crazy activity, and a bunch more not-necessarily-healthy food.

And a chat with a friend who I see frequently, who has been a widow for a bit over a year now. 

In both of those chats, we discussed loss, grief, dealing with things.  The recent widow seems to be at a pretty good place right at this moment.  The not-as-recent one had a rough day because of a birthday party, and seeing folks that she and her husband had done things with for a lot of years.

It occurred to me last night, as I did my traditional hug and "Goodnight, my 14-year-old" routine with my middle child, that my mom won't be calling him tomorrow to wish him a happy birthday.  And that means I won't be talking to her tomorrow either.

This grief thing is weird.  It takes happy occasions and makes them hard sometimes.  And from talking with that second friend, I know this is a long-term thing.

Maybe by writing this out, I'll get my crying done here in the middle of the night, and tomorrow I can be happy with my birthday boy.  And not cry when Dad calls.  I doubt I'll pull off the last one though.


Chareen said...

Oh Debra I'm so sorry. ((((hugs))))

Dawn O said...

Sending you an understanding hug, shared tears in just reading your post, and much love! It is the turning happy occasions into hard ones that still gets me mad. Just keep reminding yourself that she loved you all so much as you did her, which is why the raw pain is there. ❤️❤️❤️

Dana Wilson said...

I' so sorry for the loss of your mom, Debra! I lost mine a year and a half ago and am already dreading the holidays again without her. I am so grateful to know I will see her again someday, and I hope you share that assurance. *Hugs*