Sometimes I really think I'm not cut out for this mom thing.
Especially in the homeschooling community, it feels like a mom is supposed to relish each and every moment, each and every hug, each and every goofy story... and I don't. (Go ahead. Gasp. I'll wait...)
People seem to be in one of two camps. Mom needs "me time" (and lots of it!) or a good mom always puts her families needs ahead of her own.
I'm in the middle. I love my kids. I spend a whole lot of time with my kids. But yikes, I find being around them constantly to be incredibly draining. I need time for me, I just do. Otherwise I hit the point where I want to (and sometimes do) lash out at them and tell them Not. To. Touch. Me. Again.
And I can feel myself recharging.
I posted what I was up to as a status on Facebook. And I got a lot of response from homeschool moms (you know who you are) affirming me, or telling me they are jealous. So I know that I am not alone (pun not intended!) in this... It does make me feel more normal.
It isn't like I don't get some time alone. But looking back over the month of June, most of my "alone time" was spent doing things like sitting at the DMV or sitting at a car repair place. While it is time where nobody is touching me, it most definitely does nothing towards recharging me. Quite the opposite. It makes me more tense and stressed.
The reason I get this time today is because the post office wasn't yet open, nor was the library, and I want to hit those before I drive to Pueblo to buy crickets and mealworms, and pick up our CSA. That means I have a couple of hours to kill before I start doing all the errands and running around.
The plan for this morning was to do some school planning. Stuff is
sitting in the computer bag beside me. Once I got here, I decided, though, that while the planning needs to be done, right now this time is mine... and I know that I am putting my family's needs out front. My family needs a recharged mom. Way, way more than they need a perfectly planned school year.
I think that I am going to plan to do the errands, and come back here before I have to pick up my husband. To spend another $4 on a coffee. And to just sit AGAIN. I'll comment on this post if I get to do that...
Until then, I hope YOU are able to find a time to recharge this weekend. In whatever way works for you.