Thursday, February 24, 2011

How to make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

A guest post from my daughter.

Trina (age 5) decided yesterday that it was critically important that she come up with step by step instructions for making a PB&J.  I just had to blog it.  I'm trying to make the punctuation reflect how she said it all.

First, you must obtain permission.  If you are a kid.  This is critical.

Next, you get out the bread.  Don't smush it.

Next, then, you get out the peanut butter.  Crunchy or creamy, your choice.

Next, then, you get a knife and a spoon.

Next, then, you get out the jelly.  Make sure it isn't runny jelly, that's for pancakes.  

Did I already get the silverware?  Yes?  Okay then.

Okay, so you take out two pieces of bread.  And you close the bag.  People will get mad if you don't close the bag.

First you put jelly on one piece of bread.  That's what the spoon is for.  Then you put peanut butter on the other piece.  That's why I told you to get out a knife.  Do NOT lick the spoon or the peanut butter from the knife.  If you do, Mom <eye roll> will lecture you about bacteria and stuff and it will take a lot longer to finish your sandwich.  So don't do it.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Then you just put the pieces of bread together.  With the stuff on the inside, of course.  And cut it if you want to.  I just eat it like this.

Mom's back... you notice, of course, that other than closing up the bread, there is nothing in her directions about cleaning up.  Probably good, as I don't want her telling you guys that the only reason to clean up is so that Mom <eye roll> doesn't blow a gasket...


Tess said...

I love it!!!! Love the bit about not licking the knife or spoon so you don't get a lecture from mom. So glad you posted. I needed the chuckle!

Elizabeth said...

LOL LOL!!!! I LOVE it!! :)

Heidi said...

That is adorable. My mom has cookbooks that my brothers' classes made in school. They are HILARIOUS to read!

Ina's 5 and our Native Homeschool Blog said...

This is fantastic. I especially like that she remembers to close the bread bag!

Our Homeschool Reviews said...

So cute!!!

Deanna said...

Dear Trina, you have made me hungry for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I save the runny jelly for my pancakes too, but my boys think I am weird. I am going to tell them that someone else does it too so I am not weird. Hee hee!

Loved your guest blog post!

Unknown said...

Great job Trina! I still remember when we did this in school, and mine was the only sandwich properly made. Good thing my big sister kept asking me over and over if I had forgotten anything when I was writing up the assignment the night before. I was the only one who put "make sure the peanut butter and jelly are facing each other" before the phrase "put the two pieces of bread together" -- so every one else was handed wrong side out sandwiches! Boy was I unpopular that day!